Babies Don't Keep - part 2

So did you see the poem I posted on Monday night??? All you other Moms (and Dads) out there already know this and everyone keeps telling me "they grow up fast" and boy oh boy, are you ever right. Babies don't keep... I just can't believe how fast our days and weeks and months are slipping by. It makes me a little sad at times. My memories from those early months are pretty foggy. I barely even remember taking time out to just hold them close and rock them and study their tiny and precious features. And now I really feel like I'm missing so much good stuff by working all day instead of being at home with my girls. They learn and discover so many new things all the time these day. In just the past couple of weeks, Amelia has started to cut her 3rd tooth, is"reading" books and turning the pages herself and clapping (I have yet to see this one for myself though). And Penelope, well, she has discovered her own laugh and giggles all the time (sometimes even at nothing at all :D), holds her own bottle for a feeding and most recently, figured out how to play "chase" with Mommy (she crawls and I follow and then she stops every couple of feet to make sure I'm still back there, smiling and laughing the whole time). This is such a great age - all the playing and smiles and new discoveries. I don't want them to grow up too fast. But... Babies don't keep... Some nights when I'm done nursing the 2nd baby and have a few quiet minutes, I just sit and rock them and wish for time to stand still. When they cuddle up against me and fall asleep, I find myself trying to memorize their little faces and realize I could stare at them for hours. They are so perfect. So the question is, is the the job worth it? is the extra money for all the "extras" in our life worth the price? Could I - strike that - Could WE give up some of that "stuff" so I could work part-time and be home more? I'd like to think so... But it doesn't feel like it's possible. I barely have the energy at night to check email and update this blog, let alone do a job search and resumes and applications. And then Paul suggests maybe a career change, but the thought of classes on top of work and babies brings me close to tears. I feel like I am "stuck" in my current spot and can't break free. But... Babies don't keep... And that is slowly becoming my mantra, my motivation to make a change for the better. I don't want to look back on this first year and be full of regret. The job just isn't worth it.